The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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