so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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