I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
