Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
