cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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