Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
