I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
