I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
