"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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