I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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