she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
there is glitter all over my balls
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
