Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
NoShamevember. You game?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
