I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
