Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
