after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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