You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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