I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize