Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
