I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
