What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
