Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
