I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
