And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
