She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
