Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
