super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize