eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
