Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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