Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize