oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You need Xanax blowdarts
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
