went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
