Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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