I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
