true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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