I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
