It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Randomize
