I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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