So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
