The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
