FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
