Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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