I think my vagina is haunted
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
