They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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