Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
