Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
