That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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