nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
