I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
