my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
