Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
