Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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