babies were throwing up all over the place
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
