hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
