having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
