Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
