O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
