Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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