I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
