I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
