Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
