hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
