Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
